Jokes about good deals

Discount Jokes

His clothes were all dishevelled and he looked needy. Can I help you? I want Natalie," the old man replied.

Sir, Natalie is one of our most expensive ladies, perhaps someone else I went on a vacation to Taiwan Needless to say I was intrigued. He said to me, "go down to da beach, aska bout da tongue twister packege my friend will mak The agent, who had fantasised about her for long, had never dreamt that she was so easily obtainable. He approached her and told her how much she turned him on and how he wanted to do her.

Man: C'mon doc. You could've gave me a discount since were colleagues. Doctor: Wait, you're a doctor too? Man: No. I'm a thief just like you. Just heard this joke from my dad: A newly hired salesman in a department store is being taught by his manager how to handle sales The manager tells him that he'll help the first customer, and show him how to make the most of a sales opportunity, and then he'll let him try. A customer walks in, so the manager approaches him and says: "Good evening, sir!

How may I help you? TJ Miller should change his name When they finish the man asks "Geee Miss, how much do I owe ya? Only 20 dollars. I thought the rate was 50 dollars. Does anyone know of any crematoriums Aboriginal Rituals A couple years back, I stumbled on a surprising reference to the astonishing longevity of Aboriginal shamans living in the Australian outback. Reliable birth records aren't available before the early 20th century, but government officials have noted an astounding number of nonagenarians and centenar It's on the house for anyone who show up with both.

Foul mouthed parrot A woman goes to a pet store to buy a parrot.

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The pet shop owner explained that the beautiful one is on discount because of its coarse language from having previously Another parrot joke. A boy decides he'd like to have a parrot. But searching around he finds that they are all very expensive. He finally finds one at a discount a a local pet shop but it has a crooked beak.

He decides to buy it anyway because he's read on the internet that it can be carefully filed straight. The best thing about my favorite prostitute is the family discount. A woman walks into a pet store And eyes a beautiful parrot with a muzzle on its beak. She's curious about the muzzle and asks a clerk why the parrot was muzzled.

The clerk tells her that the parrot once belonged to a very salty pirate and that it has the filthiest mouth he's ever heard. She sees the possibility of a discount By far the best black friday deal of A new thrift store just opened up in my town, and all proceeds go to Parkinson's research Two men are sitting in a bar I need to find that woman and talk to her! What's the best part of a redneck brothel?

The family discount. Today a man stole my wallet He took the dollars i had with me and started counting the money. He gave me 50 dollars back. Confused, I asked why. Almost all the girls I check out give me their number To get the discount for their groceries of course. The camping shop in Stratford-upon-Avon is having a sale of last season's stock. Their slogan? I've decided to get help with my drug habit. I've managed to convince some friends to give me bulk discounts. It was so unexpected of Whole Foods to offer them a discount. A young jewish man was going to the beach with his wife and kids.

His wife says to him that he should invite his mother to join them, but he protests. A man meets a finds a genie lamp in a thrift store And after giving it a quick rub, a genie pops out! Money, fame, I can give you anything.

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Even a bigger dick if you so desire. In th A duck goes into a bar, approaches the counter, and orders a sandwich He says to the bartender 'listen, I'm a bricklayer on the construction site nearby, the works will last for some time and I'll be coming here every day around lunchtime for a sandwich , so think about some discount or something? The bartender, shocked as he has never encountered a talking duc My heart is like an onion I'm never getting a discount organ transplant again. One of my favorites from Fallout 3: I once visited a crematorium that gave discounts to burn victims.

The bartender, used to these sorts of jokes, lets it slide. He looks at the man, "so long as you're buying. I need some advice What has everyone been using to get ice of their cars in the morning? Hot Topic was having a huge sale Everyone panicked at the discount.

Russel Peters on Indian and Chines doing business^^

A little girl runs up behind us this really happened The girl was maybe 5 and running from her mom. I made the comment, "Look Honey, a free daughter! A cheap camping supply store is having a huge sale And they are selling raffle tickets for various camping supply prizes. An old Chinese man comes and buys a raffle ticket, among many other customers. Finally, the announcer asks for the crowd to quiet down so that he can draw out the raffle ticket for first prize. He reads out the number, and the ol I hope that Cyber Monday extends to the deep web Because I'm going to need to a discount on a new liver after all of that Thanksgiving drinking!

An 18 year old boy, his father and his grandfather decide to have a men's night to celebrate the boy's 18th birthday. After quite some drinks the grandfather boasts: "When I became your age I was taken to the hookers and made a real man! The information you have shared in the community areas may be included in this syndication.

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